It's been hard for this first time mom

I am quick to admit that it has been hard and quite a challenge for me as a first time mom. I have never really had experience of taking care of children. I may have had younger siblings and cousins but I never took care of them. Growing up in an extended family, there were uncles and an aunt that took care of me, my siblings and cousins aside from our parents. So when I had Toyang, I had to learn on my own how to take care of a baby. And I never thought that taking care of a baby is an overwhelming task. From the time Toyang was born up until she was 2 weeks old I had no sleep! People said that I should sleep while my baby is sleeping. But I couldn't because that's the time when I clean baby stuff, cook or do house chores. It was hard for me during the first month because it was only my husband and I who were taking care of Toyang. And when my husband goes to work, I am left alone to take care of our baby. I remember sending SMS to my mom everyday during that first month asking her when they will come to visit us. I just felt that I needed more help and needed more time for myself. At some point I thought that I had postpartum depression because of the difficulties I experienced as a first time mom.

While I said that being a first time mom was hard, it became easier for me now thanks to the support of my husband, family, friends and also to Toyang. I thank my family especially my mom for taking care of me and Toyang. She helped us find a yaya to take care of Toyang while I am at work (though I am not entirely happy with this yaya but more on that later). I also thank my mommy friends to whom I share my concerns as a first time parent. No one could understand me better than fellow mothers. I also thank my husband for being a doting and responsible father. I am grateful to him for really taking the time to be with us as much as he can during that first month despite his busy schedule at work. I also thank him most especially for all the sacrifices he has made to be able to support his young family (more on this later as well). Of course I am also grateful to Toyang because she is growing to be a happy and healthy baby. As she grows it is becoming easier to take care of her. And her smile and laughter just makes our day!

Ang iyong ngiti

Ang iyong ngiti ang pumapawi ng pagod at lungkot, ang nagbibigay ng pag-asa at saya

Ang iyong ngiti ang aking inspirasyon at lakas sa pang-araw-araw

Mahal na mahal kita

Maligayang pagdating!

Hunyo 30, 2012 ang isa sa mga pinakamaligayang araw ng inyong Ate. Ang inyong ate ay naging isang ganap na ina! Isinilang niya ang isang maganda at malusog na sanggol na babae. Ang kanyang palayaw ay Toyang, mula sa isa sa kanyang mga pangalan na Vittoria.

Maligayang pagdating, munting anghel! Mahal na mahal ka namin ng iyong ama :)

Celebrating pregnancy

The past few weeks of my pregnancy has been quite stressful. I was bleeding. I had urinary tract infection. I got hospitalized. I became well. Then I'm bleeding again. Add to that the diagnosis that I have gestational diabetes. It's hard not to be anxious when all these things are happening.

My doctor said that my bleeding seems like I'm experiencing threatened pre-term labor. Meaning I am not yet on pre-term labor, it's just that all these signs of pre-term labor have been apparent. And we'd want to prevent that, because we want the baby to be born full term. To do that I'd be taking medication for the next six weeks.

But more than these things that I worry about, I would like to celebrate the many good things about this pregnancy, as inspired by a friend's blog about her pregnancies. I remember having tears of joy hearing my baby's heartbeat for the first time and seeing her face on ultrasound. My husband's reaction on feeling the baby's movement for the first time is priceless. And feeling the baby's movements throughout the day and night even if it makes sleeping difficult is an assurance that my baby is doing well.

I'm truly excited to see you, my baby! But you have to spend a few more weeks in Mommy's tummy. Be well! :)

To my unborn child

from Mommy to Be 2012

To my unborn child,
what I wish to give you in times to come,
happiness, and wisdom,
a life filled with fun,
to explore all adventures of your curious mind,
to become knowledgeable of what you'll find,
as I await your arrival and the presence of newborn cries,
I picture how you'll look when I open up my eyes.
I feel your movements every time I wake each day,
letting mommy know that you’re okay,
obstacles I hope you'll overcome,
education I know you'll get done,
I stay up late reading to you,
talking to my stomach,
a feeling I never knew,
hungry all the time
'No doubt you're a baby of mine',
You make me feel happy even when I'm sad,
because the formation of another life makes me glad.
Proud of you I am,
I already know how you'll be,
a smart 'lil' one for mommy to see,
no worries from me a mom to be,
to a special baby I can't wait to see.